Author Archives: holidaymistake

Bingy-bongy

Posted on March 22, 2016 by holidaymistake
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In the early evening were walking along the narrow streets of Hoi An, Vietnam and heard live music coming from a small square. There was a band with traditional instruments and a woman, finely dressed in red, singing a song in Vietnamese. A small group of locals sat in front, listening intently. It seemed as if she was repeating words and phrases; “bingy bingy bongy bongy”. Slightly odd.

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Then she paused, reached into a small box, pulled out and then held aloft a small bamboo placard. She then went off again, singing the bingy bongy song loudly. People in the crowd excitedly waved tickets; We finally figured it out, it was Vietnamese bingo!

For the past few days now, we have had the bingy-bongy song stuck in our heads.

Categories: SE Asia - March 2016 | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Cu Chi tunnels

Posted on March 22, 2016 by holidaymistake

During the Vietnam war, the Vietcong built enormous underground tunnel systems to hide from American bombs and troops. Not only fighters, but entire villages moved underground. We visited the Cu Chi tunnels, 40 kilometers outside of Saigon.

We wandered along the paths, careful not to step off, due to unexploded ordnance, past B-52 bomb craters, trenches, and secret entrances. The hundreds of kilometers of tunnels were built with simple hand tools and ingenuity. They were multi-level including hospitals, family rooms, kitchens, all deep underground. The complex stretched all over the area including under a nearby US base, where the Vietcong stole their supplies.

Tunnel entrance

Tunnel entrance

We came to a small clearing, our guide brushed away some leaves to reveal a perfectly concealed entrance. I squeezed myself into the tiny entrance, my shoulders barely fitting, and awkwardly dropped the lid above me. I was in complete darkness. The space was enlarged from its original size, but it was still so small I was worried I wouldn’t be able to get out.

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We went underground into tunnels that had also been expanded 30% from the war years. The guide immediately took off and we had to scramble on all fours to keep up, banging heads and elbows. It was hot and claustrophobic; we only traveled a hundred meters and I couldn’t wait to get out. Brave GI’s called tunnel rats used to volunteer to venture into the tunnel alone to rout out the Vietcong. Unimaginable. Brave doesn’t even cover the heroism of these men.

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The ingenuity of the Vietcong was amazing. If the Americans used gas, they had deep rooms the gas couldn’t reach. If the Americans used water to flood them, they could divert it out into the Saigon River. When they brought sniffer dogs, the Vietcong spread stolen GI soap and spread it around secret entrances to confuse them. They even created wore their sandals backwards to hide their real tracks from the enemy and the various medieval traps they created were disturbing.

 

The Vietcong only came out after dark; the Americans owned the day; they owned the night. The hardship and sacrifices they made is something I cannot fathom. They were in it to win it, no matter what it took.

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When we came across a burned-out American tank, pock-marked with bullet holes, it really hits home. This was not a typical tourist attraction. Hundreds of both American and Vietnamese died on the ground you are walking on. They were shot, bombed, burned and buried alive under your feet. This is hallowed ground, a reminder of the hardship and brutality that both sides endured and still have to live with.

On the firing line with a AK-47

On the firing line with a AK-47

 

Categories: SE Asia - March 2016 | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Vietnam visa

Posted on March 19, 2016 by holidaymistake
Vietnam visa

Vietnam visa

We started the process of getting our Vietnam visas online but had to finish it when we landed. A group of at least twenty tourists were sitting on chairs in front of the visa window looking anxious; hmmm this may take some time.

We turned over all our paperwork, passports, and multiple extra passport photos and sat down with the crowd to wait. Oddly, enough you had to pay for the visa with American dollars, not local dong. We had plenty but several people were scrambling for cash as the money exchange was on the other side of customs but you needed a visa to to get through!
As always, Helen had everything we needed; It only took a half hour and we were on our way.

Categories: SE Asia - March 2016 | Tags: , | Leave a comment

10 million scooters

Posted on March 18, 2016 by holidaymistake

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Saigon is the city of ten million scooters; everyone owns one. The streets flow thick with them, like water in a river. They buzz around, beeping their horns in warning. If the street gets too full, they just hop onto the sidewalk and dodge around pedestrians. Traffic laws are either non existent and not enforced, stopping for traffic lights appears entirely optional.

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Entire families ride on one scooter. Mom sits side-saddle with an infant on her lap, a toddler squished between her and Dad, who is driving, with the oldest kid standing in front, between the handle bars. And only the parents have helmets on. Most American parents would have a coronary watching them shoot into heavy traffic.

Crossing the street is a trick. The locals make it look easy, without hesitation or looking, they walk out crossing diagonally, without a care in the world. We often saw tourists paralyzed on the curb unable to cross.

We stand shoulder to shoulder, getting up the nerve to make that first step. There is no break in the stream of scooters, you just have to go for it. If you walk slowly and steady at a consistent speed, the scooters flow around you like water, a two-wheeled version of fluid dynamics. As crazy as it sounds, it’s best not to look at the traffic bearing down on you.

We survived the streets of Saigon and by the time we got to Hanoi we were crossing street like locals; eyes forward.

Categories: SE Asia - March 2016 | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

33 degrees

Posted on March 17, 2016 by holidaymistake

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Coming from rainy Seattle, we were excited to visit tropical SE Asia. I checked all the countries we were going to visit and they all had temperatures well above 70 degrees.

Our first destination, China and the pilot come over the intercom, “Welcome to Beijing, the time is 9 pm and the temperature is 33 degrees.” Oops. Apparently I checked all but one country. All I brought was a light fleece and a rain jacket. I froze on the way to the hotel.

The following day we were out all day visiting the Great Wall and the Forbidden City, so I put on three t-shirts and my two jackets as we headed out early in the morning. After a few hours, I was already complaining (Helen loves that) and I had to buy a hat for my cold head. Luckily we were only in China for 36 hours.

I finally warmed up when we landed in Malaysia; I stepped off the plane and the wave of tropical humidity heat hit me. That’s more like it.

Categories: SE Asia - March 2016 | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Cash

Posted on March 15, 2016 by holidaymistake

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When we were in Cuba years ago we exchanged American bills for some Cuban “currency”, the peso. They went through every bill examining it closely, any bill that had a small tear or fold or was not in good condition they would reject, it took forever. We are going to Myanmar on our upcoming trip and I have read that they are the same about the condition of American cash, and in addition, credit cards are not widely accepted.

Like Cuba, the currency in Myanmar is funny money, manipulated by the government and you can only obtain it when you are in country and you can’t leave with any amount at all. Because of this, they crave hard currency, especially pristine American dollars; Tourists have been known to iron bills to get the folds out.

So for weeks before our trip I have been obsessed with the search for ‘like new’ dollars, in every denomination, as change is apparently also hard to come by. I have been setting aside bills and visiting multiple banks in search of new greenbacks. When I explained what I needed, they looked at me like I was laundering money for a drug cartel. Not to mention the fact that everything is now computerized and the tellers can’t know the condition of the bills that spit out.

But with all that hard work, by the time we left I had a wad of bills totaling a thousand dollars, plus currency for all the five countries we are visiting. Heading to the airport with two thousand dollars in my pocket, I felt like a gangster.

Categories: SE Asia - March 2016 | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Carry on

Posted on March 13, 2016 by holidaymistake

We knew we would have to travel light on our four week tour of SE Asia. Visiting five countries, seven flights, multiple trains; you don’t want lug around tons of luggage. We needed to be nimble and mobile, so we decided to travel with backpacks small enough to carry on planes so we wouldn’t have to check anything.

However, I was skeptical. I wondered if this was going to slow Helen down from buying trinkets on our trips. (H: “that’s not going to happen.”) We came up with a plan: hopefully send knick-knacks home with international companies, DHL, UPS, as the government mail service in these countries are suspect. I’m still skeptical.

The weather was going to be hot and I figured we could get laundry done at hotels, so I packed summer clothes for five days, a light fleece and rain jacket, one pair of shoes. I loaded books on the IPad, but packed binoculars and a bird guide; I can’t leave them behind. In the end I stuffed it all in easily, as did Helen, and her pack is smaller. We were quite proud of ourselves as we headed off to the airport.

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Happy Nude Year!

Posted on January 17, 2016 by holidaymistake

Chicago hotel. Early New Year’s Day 2016

I woke up in the middle of the night and had to take a pee, bad. It was pitch dark, I rolled out of bed and groped for the bathroom door. Finding it, I pulled the handle and opened the door. A blinding light hit me, so I closed my eyes and walked in thinking, “why did I leave the light on in the bathroom?” The door shut behind me as I slowly opened my eyes.

What I saw was not what I expected; no toilet, no shower, no sink, but I was in a hallway? As the fog in my head cleared, I realized that I had opened the wrong door and had walked out into the hallway of the hotel. I quickly grabbed the room door, locked.

OK, I just locked myself out of my hotel room in the middle of the night. Not a big deal. Except for the fact that I was buck-ass naked and I could hear the elevator coming up from the lobby. A bell rang as it passed a floor. I heard two bells and we were on the third floor. Immediately, it all became crystal clear.

I started pounding on the door frantically, “Helen let me in!!”

A sleepy voice from inside “Chris?  Is that you? What are you doing outside?” I heard the third elevator bell ring.  “Just let me in quick!” The elevator doors opened around the corner down the hall. “H! Let me in – hurry!” Voices were approaching. Just in the nick of time, the room door opened and I ran in, greeted by “What is going on?”

Confused and clueless I answered. “I really don’t know what just happened but I was out in the hallway naked.” As Helen tucked back into bed I heard the all too familiar disapproving grunt. A simple grunt that speaks volumes = you’re an idiot, I’m too tired to deal, I don’t want to know what just happened.
When I woke up on New Year’s Day, I asked the question I already knew the answer to. “I really hope I was dreaming…but did I lock myself out of the room naked?” Helen “It was not a dream”

Not a dream

Not a dream

 

Categories: Chicago, IL - January 2016 | Tags: , , | 3 Comments

Extraterrestrial vacation

Posted on January 16, 2016 by holidaymistake

 

We arrived in town late in the afternoon. Main Street was closed; lined with stands selling T-shirts and funnel cake, carnival rides and a stage at the end of the street, loud with country bands. It felt like a small town 4th of July celebration…

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…With one big difference; the overlying alien theme: alien street lamps, alien beer, millions of alien T-shirts. We were at the twentieth annual UFO Festival in Roswell, New Mexico.

A strange town, a strange festival, in the middle of the desert.

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It has been 62 years since a flying saucer crashed on a remote farm outside Rowell. Aliens were taken from the crash site to the local Air Force, or so they say. Regardless of the validity of this incident, the town embraced this supposed invasion and ran with it; hosting an annual alien festival where everyone is a legal alien.

Miss Roswell

Miss Roswell

We spent the rest of the afternoon wandering through the usually sleepy town, transformed into an alien Disney land. We met Miss Roswell and her small dog.  We drank a glass of Galactic Cabernet wine. And my favorite, visited The Prepper Stop; a survivalist booth selling everything you need for the upcoming apocalypse. I love talking to these doomsday believers. We chatted about gravity water purification systems and gas masks, which he was already sold out of, his biggest seller.

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Doomsday Supermarket.

We watched the alien parade that evening. It was short and sad, a few aliens on strange bikes, a few half dressed-up kids. I thought nothing could save this poor parade.

Until a small beat-up pick-up truck passed by. In the back were three people dressed as aliens, one with a mega-phone, the other two dancing about with their arms raised. As they passed, I realized he was reciting bible verses full volume. It became apparent that he was a reverend dressed up as an alien preaching the virtues of The Lord to confused onlookers. But of course.

Alien Preacher

The following day was the Fourth of July and our eleventh wedding anniversary. So we got up early to go to the Alien Pet Costume Contest. Isn’t that what everyone does on their wedding anniversary? I wasn’t that keen and was protesting hard, but to no avail. We were going.

goat-saucer

Goat-saucer

It wasn’t even noon yet, but it was hot. Everyone was in shady spots; under umbrellas, under trees. Everyone but the poor animals dressed in ridiculous outfits. It was mostly little dogs, but there were also a few unhappy cats in costumes, on leashes. There were also a painted pair of goats dressed as flying saucers prancing across the blazing hot asphalt.

A little black mutt dressed as the Marvin the Martian from Loony Tunes got the gold. The whole thing was rigged! The goats should have won, obviously.

The winner

The winner!

We left Roswell with a million photos, multiple alien t-shirts and a new understanding of alien probes and abductions. I love a good conspiracy theory, especially one involving government cover-ups and aliens. I’m not sure about the Roswell incident. But I do look at the night sky a little differently now.

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Categories: New Mexico- July 2015 | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

Abductee

Posted on December 21, 2015 by holidaymistake
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I overhear a tall man in a cowboy hat; “I was ok when they were abducting me. But when they started taking my children and grandchildren, it was war!” And he said it with a straight face.

He and the other extra-terrestrial experts have set up tables at the UFO Museum.  All had books, photos and other alien paraphernalia; displaying the ‘real truth’ about aliens. We struck up a conversation with Darrel Sims, with his big mustache and southern charm.

Apparently he has been abducted many times since childhood and is a Texan; larger than life, cowboy boots, Wrangler jeans, ex-special forces and a bona-fide alien expert.

Darrel has published two books; one on the history of alien implants, and the other, his life-long battle with extra-terrestrial abductions.  He also has a DVD showing a sonogram of a pregnant women that ‘proved’ she was carrying an alien fetus. Tempting. But we went with  ‘Alien Hunter’, the definitive guide on alien abduction and how to fight back.  He signed the book for us and was more than willing to take a photo with me.

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Darrel Sims – Alien Hunter

We had wanted to see one speaker at the festival and I think we just found him. We were in luck, later that day Darrel had an hour-long lecture about UFO symbolism in the drawings of children who have been abducted by UFOs.

We were in.

We sat on folded chairs as Darrel projected kid’s drawings of their family and homes onto the wall. He had a red laser pointer to highlight the details, while explaining their hidden meaning and the UFO symbolism.  For example, if the family was looking right, if the window was open on the house, these were clues of possible alien intervention in this child ‘s life.

It was all making sense to me now…

Actually it didn’t make any sense at all.

Speaking the truth.

Darrel speaking the truth

And then he started talking about owls.

A red dot from his pointer highlighted a stick figure owl with big eyes.  He paused dramatically, and then, in a hushed tone; “look here in the tree….an owl ….I could go on for hours about owls and aliens, I actually teach university level classes on owl UFO symbolism.” And then he did go on forever about the fantastical correlation between drawing an owl and being abducted by aliens.

I snorted. He was losing me, or he was losing it.

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I believe.

But Darrel did have a cult of personality, memorizing, with his southern Texas drawl and laser pointer and if you focused hard enough, it might just be possible.  I looked around the room of about two dozen attendees, most were rolling their eyes, but there were some true believers intently listening, focused on Darrel and his owls.

I do believe somewhere out there in this vast universe there must be other life forms. And I too was getting hypnotized as he rambled on; I started to see the light.

I snapped to; the light? It was coming from the open door;  so we left.

 

Categories: New Mexico- July 2015 | Tags: , | Leave a comment

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